What is that one thing in this whole wide world that frighten you the most? To live alone without any partner? To live without money and prosperity? Not to be able to make your family happy? Or is it something else?
Your fears are reflection of your feeling of scarcity, a manifestation of fear. We are frightened when the people we love are not provided enough. We are afraid if what we need are not available, or are not adequate to be shared. With this fear of being lack, no wonder lots of conflicts are happening because we are snatching one with the other.
One conflict that can be easily be found is how there are many people who fight over money. They grab what they can and they are willing to do just anything for money. Truthfully, when we think about it, there are abundant of money out there and there are so many ways to get money; so why do they have to struggle one with another over it?
Conflict about money is just one among many other conflicts that we are facing in this society. Imagine if there are many different fears rooted down so strong within each of us; of course many more conflicts will arise and they are not always easy to be solved. How can we experience peace if we keep on creating these never ending conflicts? And, what should we do to overcome and even cease these conflicts so that they are not going to happen anymore?
Do everything based on love. And so, you will be able to view things differently – with gratitude, peace and happiness. I should admit, it is not easy to maintain our state, to always put love in everything that we do. But, this is not impossible! We can train ourselves to preserve this loving state, this peak state, in these simple ways.
1. Find out the cause of your fear
It is important to always find out the root cause of our fears. Where did this fear come from? When did it first arise? What happened so that this fear come up?
For example, you are someone who has trouble in getting a (romantic) partner because you are afraid of attracting the wrong partner, or let’s say, a bastard. Ask yourself, where did this fear come from? Is it because the chaotic relationship between both of your parents? And how does their relationship connect to our view towards an ideal partner?
Each of these questions need to be answered seriously as they can be our guide to understand how the manifestation of fear can occur in our lives; it is possible how this kind of fear makes us becoming someone who is “lack of love” because what we experienced in our childhood or what we saw between our parents at home.
It is undeniable how we often throw our fear, anger, sadness and other negative emotions towards other people. Though most of the time we don’t mean to, but it is always good if we can tame down ourselves a little bit and train our awareness. One of the best ways to do it is to meditate, with the intention of sharing our universal love (loving kindness meditation).
By exercising meditation, slowly you can become more aware of what’s happening in the moment; what you feel, where your feeling comes from, and so, before you become too reactive, you can calm down yourself to release your emotion/ to let go/ to forgive the things that irritate you.
3. Be grateful
There are many things that we can be grateful for in our lives; starting from the clean clothes we are wearing, our healthy body, and also each breath that we take automatically. However, still we can find people who feel it’s hard to find things they can be grateful for. If you are one, one thing that you can try is to become a volunteer so that you can you can see and observe the life of those who are less fortunate than you.
Or you can also lower down your expectation so you can start to accept things as they are, think more simply and also make peace with your ego.
4. Join a support group
If you still find it hard to maintain your loving state, try to join a support group near you. Find a support group which also acts based on love and helps its members to heal themselves, love themselves and gently remind one another with kind words and practical methods to live life better.
I am currently facilitating Witnessday – a routine event where participants come to chill, share and meditate. Everyone is welcomed to share the problems they are currently facing and also their own experiences so that we can support one another. This event is held twice a month; first week on Wednesday and third week on Friday. Here you can meet like-minded supportive friends so you can cultivate yourself together and share many things together! If you are interested in joining Witnessday or perhaps you just want to know more about it, you can contact me via this email firstname.lastname@example.org.
To always be in the loving state is not an easy task. Oftentimes, even after we do our best to not triggering any conflicts, there can be someone who present us with conflicts.
Try to forgive, do the four steps above and just feel the happiness and peace within you.
So, how about you? Are your actions based on love? Or perhaps fear? Do share your stories by leaving a comment below!