Thank You 2017, Welcome 2018!


This is going to be my last post in 2017, and with this I’d like to humbly thank you for being here, reading my writing each and every week, sending me emails, leaving me comments, sharing me your stories, and supporting me by being inspired and moved to do great works for your inner self. I’m so proud of you and I’m looking forward to accompany you next year.

You might guess that 2017 is not an easy year for me. A lot of transitions in work and in my life, generally. Perhaps you’ve been feeling the same way too. But the worst, the worst was that day when I lost my boyfriend, Candie Willy, on November 16, exactly one month after his birthday. He was a man with decent character, quality and values. He was really good looking, adored by many, earning many remarkable and extraordinary achievements though young. And most importantly, he has loved me sincerely through my strengths and weaknesses. He has loved me through the days even when it’s hard for me to love myself. While freedom is a luxury, in front of this man I could be free just to be the way I am, completely. Yes, he was that good. He was that kind. He was such a rare breed.


And though I felt such a terrible loss, I know I am going through such a tremendous transformation, daily. Every new lesson, day by day. And even though I’m still grieving, first I’d like to share with you three important lessons I’ve learned along the way.

1. Life is precious

Well, yes we know that life is precious. But the most important thing in life is life itself. Really. In front of death, whatever possessions you have, whatever power and status you’re entitled with, whatever awards and achievement you’ve reached, even your knowledge and wisdom, your loved ones and your friends, all the little things in life: your food, face, clothes and cars – they don’t matter anymore. And then I asked myself, what’s the use of all the fights I had been trying to win? What’s the use of all the debates, trying to make him see and follow what’s on my head? What’s the use of all those? Nothing. In the face of death, they don’t matter anymore.

So, please focus on what matter most. Time. Togetherness. Love. Giving and receiving. Companionship. Learning. Self-cultivation. And honouring the gift itself. The gift of life and living. To make the most out of it and to be the best person you can be while you’re living. Please, do the best you can do with your life.


2. Please live with no regret

One of the hardest thing for me right now is to overcome all the regrets and guilts I have. As you’ve read above, without knowing it I’ve been taking life, taking him, taking all my loved ones, even taking all the other convenience in my life for granted. I thought they’ll be here for me always. I thought they’ll understand me and accept me always. I thought there’ll always be tomorrow.

But unfortunately, tomorrow is not a guarantee. In the face of impermanence, my world has turned upside down and reality hit me hard. They say, live like there’s no tomorrow. It may sound cliché, but it’s true. You don’t need to make the same mistakes as I do to fully realize this and take your understanding into actions. Start right now.


3. To be whole is to love yourself completely

Learning that I’ve been such a fool all these years at this age can become such a misery. As I meditate and contemplate day and night, I come to encounter the many faces of demons within me. Most of us in the world are trying to reject these demons, even hate and condemn them. But funny enough, these demons actually are also parts of us. There’s no way we can live without them, as there can be no happiness without any sadness. They need one another.

To only love the angelic parts of us makes us suffer. As we deny, reject and hate the angry, the envious, the selfish and the other evilish parts of us, we are denying ourselves as a whole. And that’s the beginning of the other sufferings we can find within ourselves and towards other people. To be whole is to love yourself comppletely. Begin by accepting the many parts of you, accepting them with love and compassion. It may not be easy, but truly, self-love and true happiness stem from this.


As I’ll be more able to digest all the other lessons, I hope next time I can share with you many more things about how death has taught me greatly, again. My prayer is that you can take this note and this lesson as you spend your last few days in 2017, contemplate in silent to welcome your new chapter in 2018. I really wish that you can learn from my experience and make the best out of it. Ask yourself, what are the things I could’ve done better this year? What are the commitments am I going to take to make myself better next year?


Again, thank you so much for reading. Thank you for allowing me to walk with you in this journey. It’s been  a great pleasure to share about life with you. I sincerely wish you serenity, good health, happy heart, compassionate soul, wisdom and a simple mind. I invite you to learn turning poison into medicine, turning anger into compassion and turning pain into wisdom. Love you all, see you again soon!

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