I am stung when I read this quote, “Do not expect other people to like you. Most people struggle to even like themselves.” Do you feel this way?
Live to please others
I live in this big city of Jakarta, where most people dress, talk and behave to display a certain image. I feel like most of them, or sometimes even myself, are wearing masks. We choose brands, styles, food, entertainment, place of interest and hobbies which are considered to be good, trendy, symbol of success, or even seem spiritual among our society.
We smile and we talk sweet in front of others. For networking, people say. Who knows we can get projects and money out of it… We compliment others without meaning it. We don’t know them too well, but we we’re being pretentious. Sometimes I wonder, when there are so many fake people in the world, where else can we find sincerety? Are we one of those people we talk about?
And here are another questions: who actually we are doing this for? For what sake? Or perhaps… we do all these to be accepted and acknowledged by other people?
People who don’t really know us, who don’t really care and love us, and perhaps they don’t like us either.
Learn to accept yourself the way you are
Based on my experience as a counselor, there are quite a number of people who are beautiful, healthy, live in a complete family, and they even get so rich they can buy anything they want – but, regardless of how much possessions they own, regardless of how many men or women who like them, they never feel enough. It’s like a bottomless pit. Regardless of how much you fill it in, it can never be full. That’s the suffering of people who always feel lacking. Insufficent. Incomplete.
When we know who really are, accept and like ourselves the way we are, we no longer need acknowledgement from others. We don’t need others’ approval and we don’t other people to like us to make us feel enough.
One of the best ways to feel enough is to love yourself, prioritize yourself, and accept yourself the way you are. Self love.
You, yourself, is enough
Most of us may feel insufficient because the words or actions we received in ourchildhood that we considered as the truth. One client who always feel lacking tell me her story… since she’s very young, her parents always fight. As a child, out of suffering, she tried to stop their fighting, and yet, without success. And so, she felt powerless and hopeless. The mother who she defended so hard did not really love her. Since young, she lived separated from her parents; she was sent to study abroad. Now that she’s become adult and she succeeed to own so much money all by herself, her parents get close to her only when they need her money. Apart from that, their relationship is ice cold. She was divorced once, and even now after she’s married with another man, she still loves to “play” with other guys… she just never feels enough.
Well, I am not my client, but more or less, I can understand her feeling. As a child who’s always pushed to be able to do this and that, who’d got scold when disobeyed, and who’s almost everyday living in fear, I can understand how when I grow up, there’s a huge period in my life when I became this person who was easily crack under pressure, hard to make decisions, and always feel lacking inside.
This surely is not a beautiful feeling; it holds so much anger, resentment and fear towards other people. And consciously or unconsciously, we transfer the feeling we’ve been holding on for so long towards many others, especially those who are closest to us. Then, we grow to become a person who’s thirsty of recognition, thirsty of acceptance and thirsty of feeling loved. Some people run after food, drinks, and some people run after money, things to beautify themselves, achievements, experiences, or even touch (sex) and companionship by the opposite sex.
When we talk about healing and being healed, people have their own way and timing. But to accept, forgive, and let go of baggage from the past have always been a potent medication. Today I’d like to share some mantra so that we can be reminded everyday. That whatever that had happened to us in the past, whatever going on in our lives in the present, or even in the future; we are enough, we are worthy, and we deserve to be loved. And that we are actually and already loved. Because there’s no way that we can live up to this point without so much love given by so many people.
The mantra is:
I am enough. I am worthy. I am loved.
This affirmation is very simple and yet very powerful. Whenever you need it, say it in your heart. And repeat as many times as you can every morning and every night. Whatever people say about you, whatever you have endured in life, always remember these three sentences. It is so important that I’d like to say it in front of you now:
You are enough.
You are worthy.
You are loved.
If many other people and I have been hell and back to understand and learn about all these, I hope you don’t have to go through the same suffering. I hope you love yourself enough to be able to say these three mantra everyday so that you can live in a true abundance.
Can you relate to my story? Have you ever felt incomplete and now you realize that it’s the feeling rooted from your childhood or your past experience, perhaps? If yes, then you can share story with me in the comment column below.
Thank you so much for reading. I pray so that your heart is filled with love and you are so in love that you have the capacity to spread this love to many other people. Remember the three mantra. See you soon!
Love and light,
Amelia is a writer and Intuitive Coach. Her goal is to help you find out who you truly are and why you are here, and therefore, support you to live yourself as the true you – the best version of yourself. She does that by giving you tools that you can immediately apply to improve your life, your relationship, your career, your health and many more than you can possibly dreamed of. She serves through offline and online classes, workshops and retreats. She regularly shares her passion through the newsletters that you can subscribe for free at ameliadevina.com. You can contact Amelia at firstname.lastname@example.org or her Facebook page and her instagram/ twitter @ameliadevina777.