6 Steps to be in peace with yourself and one another




September 21 is celebrated as the International World Peace Day. Everybody wants peace, every head of state governments in the UN conferences to every lady in the Miss Universe pageant talks about world peace. The idea somehow becomes common and commercialized, and we forget that to achieve this state of ‘world peace’, we have to get down to the most basic question that I’m going to ask you here: Are you in peace with yourself? Because, world peace can happen only and only when we are able to be in peace with ourselves and with one another.


I remember the days when I was twenty two. I had what I called a “Peterpan syndrome”, I didn’t want to get old, I wanted to stay young forever. People said that getting old means that you’re going to sacrifice your idealism, get a day job and be “normal”; I, obviously, hated the idea. Not to mention the thought of having your parents who expected your life to be a “success”; life suddenly became a burden. I hated my parents, I hated my life and I hated myself because I was a sucker. I was totally not in peace with other people, and ultimately, not with myself.


So, how could that twenty two year old me turn into the woman that I am today? The woman who is excited to witness another brand new day and happily embrace the idea of losing her days on Earth. The woman who still runs her works without having to sacrifice any of her idealism. What are the secrets to inner peace and inner contentment? The answers lie in these 6 simple steps that I am about to share with you here.


Beautifully embrace and control your emotions.

Often in life, we regret the things we should not have done — like being rude or disrespectful. The more you are succumbed to your anger/ fear/ guilt, the more you are used to it. And before you realize it, it then becomes your character. Perhaps you’re familiar with what Anabel Jensen, a world-leading expert in emotional intelligence, said about the six seconds concept. Allow yourself a six-seconds opportunity to decide on how you’re going to respond to a situation, rather than react impulsively. You can use this six-seconds to come back to your breath and breathe, repeat a mantra, be grateful for what the situation may bring, immediately put a smile on your face, or come back to your common sense. When a “teaching emotion” like this comes to you, do not punish yourself. Simply acknowledge your feeling, embrace it and cool things down. Inner peace is the accumulation of a day to day exercise, practice it so it becomes your character.


Understand that each person has their own battles to fight.

There is a popular saying: “Everyone you meet is battling a fight you know nothing about. Be kind.” That is true! Sometimes, we expect others to act like gods and goddesses; to be without flaws. But, come on, if you have your own problems, they do, too! You’re not going to think that they’re going to run around telling you how heartbroken they are, are you? Understand that everyone, including you, is undergoing a growing process. And the path to growth are oftentimes filled with pain and discomfort. Be kind to yourself and to one another.


Try to be nice to the people who have hurt you.

It is relatively easy to be nice to the people who are nice to you. Everyone can do that. But you’re not everyone, you are special! So try to be nice to the people who have hurt you. There is a magical reason why Jesus said, “Love your enemies!” This practice will expand your compassion, broaden your mind, widen your heart and teach you to be flexible. Stretch your tolerability muscle! “Be the person who is not easily hurt by just careless things that other people said”, my wise guru, Dharma Master Cheng Yen repeatedly taught. When nothing outside yourself can easily do you harm emotionally, you reach equanimity. You are stable, you are strong. Sense that inner peace within you.


Accept yourself (and others) just the way you are.

A lot of people are furious about life and other people because they are not happy with themselves. They need somebody else to say that they are good enough, or smart enough, or pretty, or rich, or awesome. But Hugh McLeod said, “The best way to get approval is to not need it.” You don’t need the things outside of you to fill the gaps or the voids you have inside. You simply need to understand that you are whole. You are complete. All you ever need is within you, already! Accept and love yourself just the way you are. And do that to others around you, especially those who are closest to you: your spouse, your children, your parents. When you say you love them for who they are, you accept everything that comes along with it as one whole package. The past, the present, the future. The thoughts, words and actions. Dreams, fear, strengths and weaknesses. The body, mind and soul. I always remember what my meditation master, Gede Prama, said: when you accept yourself (or others) just the way you are, you will see yourself bloom.


Practice mindfulness a.k.a. meditation.

Whether you like it or not, meditation is a remedy you can take anytime of the day. It is your super treatment! It doesn’t mean you need to sit in silence for long hours, no! Being mindful, or practicing meditation, simply mean that you can have a rest in the present moment, here and now. Non-judgmental. Effortlessly. You don’t need to empty your mind, how can you even do that? Thoughts are running to your head whether you like it or not, right? So, every time a thought comes to your mind, simply acknowledge it and say hi. And then, gently and firmly, come back to your center or your breath. That’s why you can meditate anytime anywhere. When you open the door, pick up the phone, look at this screen, before you talk, when you walk or while you drive — breathe! This is the not-so-secret mystery why the holy peeps are always seen with smiles on their faces, they look so peaceful, young and beautiful (even without their make ups on)!


Understand that eventually we all are one soul in different bodies.

And here is what I want you to comprehend. Why take things so seriously? Why do you always need to compare and feel unsatisfied? We all are one soul in different bodies. We’re not the same, but we are the elements of the same body. When your child is in pain, can you be happy? When your spouse feels hurt, will you not feel hurt, too? Practice this not only to the people who have blood ties with you, but to everyone. If you want to be happy, make other people feel happy. If you want to live in peace, give a sense of peacefulness to others around you. Only then you can feel your true peace and happiness!


So, what about you? Which one of these six steps is your favourite? Or do you have your personal tips for inner peace? Share with me here. I’d love to hear from you!


wpid-1440147248173.jpgDo you like this quote? Want to see more of it? Visit and like my facebook page.


I hope my story and sharing here assure you that you’re never alone. We are humans who are learning to come back into our truest self; we made mistakes, we heal, we are getting better and better. And most importantly, remember, world peace is not a mere idea. World peace is the sums of my inner peace and your inner peace. It comes down to you and I. So, let’s work on it together! If I can do it, you can do it, too! It’s my blessing to become an Intuitive Counselor and be able to assist you in this journey called life.

>> Check out my Intuitive Counseling session.


Thank you very much for reading. If you know that someone out there might get the benefits from reading this article, please share. The best part of having Witnessday is to get to listen to your thoughts afterwards, so jump into the comment section and tell me what you think. May you live in peace with yourself and with one another; that’s my prayer for you today. See you soon!




Love and light,

Amelia Devina



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