5-Steps to forgiving others and also yourself

Posted on Posted in witnessday

 

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Have you ever felt angry because things just don’t go your way?
Have you ever felt disappointed because your boyfriend just doesn’t give you enough messages, enough calls, enough time, enough attention?
Have you ever felt miserable because no-one and not even your best friend is there to console you and understand you?
Have you ever felt ashamed because your parents can’t afford to give you decent house and education when you were young, and that they’re so old and grumpy now?
Have you ever felt so guilty because you are not the person you want to be, that you make mistakes all over again, so foolish and hard-headed all the time?

 

How often do you feel frustrated because everyone and even yourself are not the persons you expect them to be? How often do you wish, deep down in your heart, that things and people will change? As a matter of fact, we are dealing with this kind of emotion everyday. I am battling with this kind of emotion daily. I’m with you. I understand that it’s not easy to deal with, but if I have a way to make peace with this rage, you can too!

 

First, I have to make sure that you perfectly understand that we are humans and humans have emotions. We are created with these emotions not because we have to fight them or push them away; it’d be a waste of energy to do so. Emotions are great, emotions are here to help us understand our feelings, our tendencies, our responses, our decisions. There’s nothing wrong for having emotions.. and please, please.. forget what you’ve learned about labelling your emotions as ‘good’ or ‘bad’. Here, it is a judgement-free zone. We simply need to acknowledge that we experience one kind of emotion and say hi to that emotion. In the end, it is a part of us. You wouldn’t meet a part of you and simply deny it, neglect it and try to throw it away, do you? No… when you meet a part of you, when you know there’s a part of you that needs attention, you give your love to that part. Simply put more attention in, put more love in…

 

And today, this is exactly what we’re going to do. When you are angry and sad that things don’t go your way, what would you do? How would you treat the persons who you think have hurt you? Here’s the 5 simple yet profound steps to help you deal with imperfections, forgiving others and also yourself for ruining things up.

 

1.  Imagine you are face to face with the person.

Sit still in silence for a little while before you begin. If you can meditate, that’s even better. After you’ve entered the relaxed, peaceful mode, let’s do this. Imagine that now you’re standing face to face with the person who annoy you the most. And often times, out of annoyance, you throw fireballs at that person. You say painful words, you shout at him, or you even wish him dead. It can be your spouse, your child, your Mum or Dad, your boss, your co-worker, and of course, including yourself. Look at this person in the eye. And start to feel how you usually feel about him/ her.

 

2. Say, “Darling, I forgive you.”

Here, you don’t apologize for what you have done wrong to that person. Quietly, we all may have done that every now and then, but with very little improvement from our side. We keep on repeating the same reaction of rage when we deal with him. But today, we’re going to change that. This is what I want you to do. Think about how miserable he has made you feel and understand that actually, he doesn’t want that to happen. He is just like you, he’s weak, wounded and feels helpless too. Look at him closely, and say this to him, “I forgive you for not being the person I expect you to be.” Say this several times when needed, until you can express all you’d like to express.

 

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3. Imagine he says, “Darling, I forgive you too.”

After you’ve said whatever you want to say to him, imagine that he smiles back at you and replies, “It’s okay, I accept your apology. I forgive you, too. You are free now. We are free now.” And guess what, you’ll feel like heavy loads was just taken away from you. It feels so so good you couldn’t help but smile. You’ll feel relieved.

 

4. Say thanks. Give hugs.

Beside love, for sure, forgiveness really is the greatest gift you can give to yourself. When you forgive others, a part of you is forgiven and then healed, too. Say heartfelt thanks to that person for all the lessons he has given you in this lifetime and give him the longest warmest hug (even kisses too!) — feel it in your body! Feel all the emotions as if it’s happening to you right now.

 

5. Imagine love is in the air.

Now that you have forgiven that person for all his imperfections, you are freed from the habit and need to feel irritated whenever he does things which are different from your expectation. You can simply understand, forgive and let it go. Nothing could really bother or annoy you anymore. Even more so, now that you’ve lost the intention to criticize or to get mad at him, you will want to pour more love into him. Because he is clueless and vulnerable, because he’s struggling and has expectations too; just like you. Imagine that now you are radiating a pink energy of love towards your whole self and towards the person in front of you. Imagine how beautiful your relationship would be after this. Create the scenes, play it in your head, enjoy it!

Repeat when necessary. You can also the change the subjects of your attention, as many persons as you like.

 

 

Now, I have to tell you that I don’t invent this. My inner wisdom taught me this exercise and I just followed. I don’t want to brag about it, but the results have been spectacular for me. I am sharing you this so that you too can feel the magic and the gift of forgiveness. Try it for yourself and share your experience here.

 

And, to honour the sacred supermoon and the beginning of September, I’d like to offer you

 

** FREE ONE-CARD READING **

 

to help you discover what energy or message September may bring into your life this time. What you have to do is very simple. Simply give the best comment about your experience doing the forgiveness exercise above, and I’ll reply you with my card reading. I will only read and reply to comments that are written on my site. This offer is open for my subscribers only. So, if you haven’t done so, you can put your name + email address + choice of language and hit the ‘subscribe’ button below. I do this to honour all my beautiful subscribers who have been here with me and loving me all this time. Thanks, guys!

 

Okay, so again and again, thank you so much for reading. If you find this article super helpful, just as I do, please be generous to share this with all of your friends. They might need it, too. Hope you have a life transforming experience and I’ll see you soon!

 

 

Love and light,

Amelia Devina

 

 

 

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