On the previous article, I talked about the cause of guilt. Although most people have understood the cause of guilt, there are some people who still preserve the guilt. Actually, these people don’t want to preserve guilt but it’s hard for them to let go of their guilt.
So, this time I will tell you 5 simple steps to deal with guilt.
Step #1 Realize That You Develop from Time to Time
You feel guilty today because you realize that you shouldn’t make mistake in the past. It’s a sign that today you have better knowledge and self-awareness. You become more sensitive and caring to others. It’s a sign that you become a better person, isn’t it? Once you’ve realized that you’ve become a better person, it will be easier for you to forgive yourself.
Apologizing is a good attempt to fix relationship and reduce the burden of guilt. However, fear of rejection sometimes haunts us; we’re afraid that people will reject our apology. In fact, there is nothing you need to be afraid of.. Why?
If you apologize sincerely, being accepted or rejected is not your ‘responsibility’ anymore. It’s their business whether they have forgiven you sincerely or haven’t. From this case we can also learn one more important thing: to be more tolerant and forgiving.
In addition, one thing you should remember is that nobody can force someone else to do something. So, why do you still burden yourself with that fear?
Step #3 Make a Journal
The next obstacle that you may face is that you’re afraid that you will have an excuse to make same mistake in the future since you forgive yourself today. To minimalize the occurrence of similar mistake in another time, you can spend 30 minutes at the end of day to contemplate what you have done today. Do you still have time to regret what you do?
In addition, a journal can be a good therapy for you to express what you feel. Afterwards, don’t forget to read it again to learn and understand more the pattern of your behaviour and mind. You can adjust the cycle to suit your need; you can re-read it once a week or once a month. Thus, you will be better at dealing with guilt.
Step #4 Mediate Routinely
Every time a guilt emerges, you can try to calm yourself down by meditating. Find a quiet place and pay attention to the air you breathe in and out. By meditating, you will realize more many things happen around you.
If you want to get more benefits of meditating, you can meditate everyday (when you wake up in the morning or before go to sleep at night). Therefore, we can sincerely accept what happens and accept other people and ourselves without any judgement. It will be easier for us to move on and forgive people.
Step #5 Accept and Love Ourselves as We Are
After taking the 4 previous steps, it’s a right time to accept and love yourself as you are. If it’s still hard for you, you can start by finding out the root of your guilt; when do you know the concept of right and wrong? Who plants the concept?
Both the concept of right and the concept of wrong have similar important value. These concepts complete each other and we learn from both concepts; we learn many things from mistake and we understand many things from the good things that we do as well. By understanding this, you can forgive yourself completely and accept yourself as you are.
Those are five simple steps to cope with guilt. Please practice them and don’t hesitate to share your experience via comment column below. If you still feel very disturbing guilt, you can ask spiritual teacher, spiritual guide, or spiritual companion like me to help you to figure out the root of guilt and overcome the guilt that you feel.